Cognitive Dissonance and Ducks

Cognitive Dissonance might be the reason why Harold Camping still believes in the end of the World, and it might also be why I so failed to see M’s infidelity.

She didn’t try to hide it, just relied on my absolute trust in the goodness of her character. I knew something was wrong, but thanks to my brain and adaptive preference formation, I convinced myself that I was being unkindly suspicious.

This evening I went out and felt out of place and lost. I don’t want to be a single person. I did all of the single person things and bought the t-shirt in my twenties and I have no desire to go through the games all over again.

Life as a thirty-something single is daunting. In your twenties the rollercoaster is just an exhilerating ride. Post-thirty all you can imagine are the nuts and bolts coming apart and a vicious gruesome death befalling you at high speed.

Dear M,

You have stolen the happy memories of us, you have cheapened our entire relationship. You have made yourself someone who deserves to be unhappy and you have made me a fool, an idiot and a loser in the eyes of everyone, including myself.

Relationships are, of course, always hard. My friend told me of a friend of hers who had confided a problem with her boyfriend.

“What’s wrong?” She enquired, imagining something mundane. The response:

“He murdered a duck with a stick”

Maybe I shouldn’t worry about being single forever when men who murder ducks with sticks have girlfriends. At the moment, however, I still only want to be with M.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage

~Anais Nin~

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Posted on May 28, 2011, in Adultery, Dating and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. You’re written a very couragous, insightful and meaningful post. Maybe I’m overstaing it a little but I really like it. I have the wiki cognitive bias page on my blog SpiritualThemes. It’s an important concept and it’s horrible to live through.

    Your blog is very well set up and looks really nice. Keep Blogging, Keep Writing. Thanks.

  2. My heart bleeds for you. I am sorry for your loss but you will heal….i promise there is someone out there waiting for you…

    T.

    • Thank you for the comment, and I hope you’re right about the someone. If you know her I might be asking for contact details in a couple of months 🙂

      Thank you again and have a very gorgeous day 🙂

  3. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t worry about being single forever when men who murder ducks with sticks have girlfriends.’

    Thank you for that. That is fab.

  4. SynthesistChronicles

    I couldn’t agree more with your comments regarding being single in your twenties versus being single in your thirties. It’s nice to hear someone else say it aloud.

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